Questions
by Soliloquium
Summary: After a mission, Fran asks Belphegor some questions that are difficult to answer. Hints of yaoi, but it's not Bel/Fran. This story contains potentially scarring mental images.


Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors and OOC-ness. Like the rest of my stories, this is un-beta-ed and has hints of yaoi not necessarily directed toward Fran or Bel. Beware of mind-scarring mental images.

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Fran stared at Belphegor, who was busy sharpening a knife while reclining on a nearby couch in the Varia headquarters, wondering if he could take off his frog hat. Both just came back from wiping out a group who were threatening the Vongola drug routes (they _are_ part of the Mafia...). After killing 200-odd people in a warehouse, they (well, Bel did this most of this on his own happily) dragged out two survivors, ripped out the survivors' intestines, and left the two fresh corpses to the crows. Fran set the warehouse on fire, trying to cover his nose from the acrid stench of burning flesh and the ever-present metallic scent of blood. Luckily, they killed at night and there was a fireworks display for the locals, so the burnt warehouse would only be discovered, at earliest, tomorrow. The two, out of boredom, watched until the bonfire gradually died down into a small tendril of smoke that quickly disappeared into the wind. With nothing left to see except ashes, they headed back to the Varia headquarters.

Bel's snide remarks about frogs and his un-cute kohai were, oddly enough, currently not present. In fact, this would be a common time where they would be at each other's necks. Sensing that this is strangely out of character for both of them, even if this is fan fiction, Fran decided to break the ice.

"Bel-senpai, there's a question I've been meaning to ask you for a while," Fran said to the fake prince.

"What do you want to question royalty about, un-cute kohai?" Bel replied with his widest slasher smile.

"How do you see, anyway?" Fran asked in a deadpan voice. "Your hair covers a third of your face. Your hair's thick enough for viewers to be unable to see your eyes, yet you can still see clearly enough to fight. Wait, never mind, the answer would be anime physics. Next question."

"What is this, a Q&A corner?" Bel said irritably.

"According to your flashbacks, Fallen Prince-senpai, your eyes have been covered by hair since you were a kid. During your puberty, did you grow pimples? They say that bacteria and oils from your hair can cause zits, so were you called pizza-face by your friends?"

"Of course I didn't have zits. I'm a prince, after all," Bel replied with a smirk.

"I'm sorry .That was an inconsiderate question. I forgot you had no friends. And you would probably kill whoever laughs at you anyway."

At this point, Bel didn't really know how to answer. If he said he indeed had friends, he would be making friends with peasants. If he said he had no friends, Fran's automatic reply would be "Senpai, you really are a failure as a human, aren't you?" Hearing no answer, Fran decided to move onto his next question.

"Senpai, do you have a girlfriend?" Fran asked seriously.

"What kind of a question is that?"

"If you do have a girlfriend, I'd know what type of girl would choose a hairy guy like you."

"Do you want to die, you brat?" Bel said, throwing a knife at Fran. Fran caught it with two fingers and snapped it into two.

"So do you?"

"Of course. Many girls begged to be my girlfriend since I was royalty, but I rejected them all because they were peasants," Bel replied proudly.

"So you don't."

"But do you have a girlfriend, froggy?" Bel asked mockingly.

"No, at my age, it's optional for me to choose a girlfriend, but Bel-senpai, on the other hand," Fran looked straight at Bel, "is at least 26 years old. In four years, your midlife crisis years would start. You would become depressed and lonely, and you'll eventually kill yourself when younger women reject you for your age, violent nature, and hairiness. That would be a pretty miserable end for you, Bel-senpai. You'll be forced to realize that you're indeed a failure as a human. Your parents would cry when they see that their other son met an equally disgraceful end as his older bro-" Fran winced when three of Bel's knives nicked his scalp.

"Ouch. Do you like attacking people in mid-sentence, Prick-senpai?" Fran glanced at the ceiling. "Anyway, I suggest we both sleep down here tonight."

"Why? You're afraid that there's a bogeyman in your closet, froggy?" Bel laughed with his strange chuckle.

"That bogeyman would be you. But listen."

Moaning and banging sounds seemed to be coming from directly above Fran and Bel. Giggling and moaning came from the left above, while loud sobbing was emitted from the right above.

"That banging would be the stupid long-haired captain and Xanxus-sama. The sobbing would be Levi. And that giggling would be..." Fran couldn't bear to finish his sentence as both his and Bel's faces twisted with utter disgust.

"Our headquarters has become a love hotel, eh?" Bel said disapprovingly.

"Guess so."

Deciding that the mental images are too disgusting to handle, Fran went to get himself a pair of earplugs, while Bel decided to get his MP3 player, his sound-reducing headphones, and some sleeping pills. Fran came back with two glasses of water. The two placed their supplies on a coffee table. Each poured out the right amount of pills. Fran stared at his pills and looked at Bel, who looked up to 'look' at Fran.

"What?"

"Bel-senpai, I have one more question. This one is extremely important."

"What is it?"

"Are you gay?"

"Shut up and go to sleep before I decide to kill you."

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A/N: I guess this is my first KHR fanfic. This is kinda like a break from writing chapters for my other fanfics, since I'm having a bit of a writer's block. Like usual, feel free to chop me, dice me, or panfry me. Or, anyone who actually reads this can be merciful and review.


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